i feel like i am a good person. yes, i am messed up, but i don't do bad onto others.

but why can things never seem to go my way, for once even. Just a little bit would be nice. 

but no. it never happens. when can i get a break? seriously?

i may seem organized and all put together on the outside.

but inside,

on the inside, i really am a mess.

friends are all things that are precious.

im an only child, and i guess that is one of the main reasons i love my friends so much.

i would go through stormy seas to make sure they are happy.

but sometimes i forget to make myself happy.

not good. not good.

sometimes you just got to be a little bit selfish to keep yourself sane.

It's crazy looking back on the past, reading my old blogs (all of which are now locked by the way).

man, life really is a crazy roller coaster.

Decisions, decisions. Growing up always seems to be about decisions. I hate making decisions, its such a pain in the ass. Weighing out the options, the possible outcomes, etc. Frustrating.

I need to not run away this time.

Normally, I give in and try not to make a big deal of things, because they dont really matter to me. But sometimes I feel, I let people walk all over me way too much. 

Its time to take a stand, its time to stop being a doormat. 

The start of something new.

So its time to start a new blog! Or has the hype of blogging died down recently.

I believe it sort of has. I wonder if I will even bother keeping this up, a blog is quite difficult to maintain let alone get readers. But it is a wonderful way to express your thoughts and ramblings without having fear of being exposed.

I started my very first blog in 2001? But that was with livejournal . My first public blog was with this very blogger account in fact, in the year 2004. But all those blogs are now hidden, so don't even bother trying to locate it.